How to Shotgun a Beer

        Shotgunning a beer is the act of ingesting a full twelve oz beer as fast as your body and the can will allow you. It involves creating a unidirectional flow of fluid to allow the beer to freely move through the opening of the can. Any college student could benefit from this sophisticated art form, but for some it is not an easy feat to accomplish.

Materials:

  • A beer
  • Keys or another sharp object

 

  1. Puncturing your can: 
    • Start by finding the pop top. Hold the can with your index finger across the top, ready to pop the top. However, now is not the time to pop.
    • Hold the can forward and examine the inner side, mentally placing the hole on the can. Imagine holding the can to your face and locate the ideal spot for your hole. Ideally, the hole rests slightly above the bottom lip of the can.
    • Hold your can upside down to allow for the gasses in the can to surface to where you will place your hole. This is easy to forget, as many people will find themselves spraying their beverage everywhere. Pull out your key and cut a comfortably sized hole into the can. Remember, the bigger the hole, the more fluid that can move through it. Once you have your hole ready, you can move on to the next stage.
  2. Positioning:
    • Hold your can forward with your finger under the pop top. Be sure that you are mentally and physically prepared for the impending pop.
    • Lean your head forward and place your lips on the can. This should feel extremely natural.
    • Allow your lips to seal around the hole and get ready for the final stage.
  3. Drinking:
    • Move your head so the can sits in the upright position and pop the top. The fluid will now begin to move cleanly from the opening on the top to the hole on the side.
    • Relax your throat and chug. Be sure to completely consume your beer as not many people look fondly on wasted brew. 

There you have it! Now that your beer has been shotgunned, you are now free to enjoy any other activity this refined culture has to offer.

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